Blind
by klohau
Summary: My name is Maevelyn Renée Swan. But most people call me Mae. I was born blinded. When you first see me, you might think, 'oh look, a regular girl' Then, as your eyes wander to my face, you see my eyes. They're grey, unlike everyone else in my family. But they're normal. Now, my older sister Bella and I are moving to Forks, and I wasn't prepared for this.


Disclaimer: I happen to own nothing except for the computer I'm typing on and Mis Maevelyn. Yes. I own her. :]

I never really thought about life this way. How I would get into university. _Where_ I would get into university. I recall that one time I had thought about if I wanted children or not. Going to university and getting a degree in computer science would be my ultimate dream, but alas, it will be quite hard to achieve.

By that, I mean practically impossible, because I'm blind.

They told me that I was born blind, because of glaucoma, which is when you get increase pressure within your eyes, so you slowly go blind. I don't know what green looks like. Or blue. Or yellow. Or anything that involves sight.

When someone asks you, _what colour do blind people see?_ You would say black. But to us, before we are told what we see (we call this "nothing") is actually called black, it was nothing. It's like trying to see behind your head. You can't see anything. So, basically, you see nothing.

There was this one time when Renée called someone over to try and teach me colours. He said, _pick a favourite colour from the list._ Then he rattled off a list of words that I could not choose from. I told him so. _Kneel down,_ Mr. Chandler told me. _Feel the grass underneath your hands. The grass is green._ He ran my hand under running water from the sink. _Feel and listen to the water flowing. The water is blue._ He brought me outside. _Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. The sun, it is yellow. It lights up the whole world, did you know? Even if you cannot see it._

I decided my favourite colour was yellow, or red. Yellow, because the sun was warm and it gave me a good feeling every time I sat in its rays. Red, because the rose that Mr. Chandler brought smelled beautiful, but its thorns were deceivingly sharp. Beautiful and deadly.

Back to the point. Renée wants to travel with Phil, but she doesn't want to leave us behind. So, out of love for our mother, Bella decided to go and live with our biological father for a while, so Renée can be with him. Of course, I tagged along with her. I wanted to explore without hinderances. And this was an opportunity waiting to be captured.

Anyways, back to the point.

"Noelle!" I called. Noelle was my seeing eye dog. She was a fluffy white poodle, which some people thought odd, seeing (no pun intended) that most guide dogs were retrievers. Renée got her for me when I was young and said I wanted to be independent. Noelle went to school with me. I went to regular schools, but the only difference was that I had thicker books indented in Braille.

Noelle licked my hand and I smiled softly.

"Are we ready, Bella?" I asked my sister, who was loading the luggage into the car.

"Almost!" She called back, before tripping over the last bag as she turned around. I giggled at her clumsiness before slipping in the car and settling Noelle on my lap.

When we landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. I didn't like it. The sun was a sense of normalcy for me.

According to Bella, Charlie was waiting for us with the cruiser. I was expecting this, seeing as Charlie is 'Police Chief Swan' to the good people of Forks.

Charlie gave Bella and I an awkward, one-armed hug when we got off the plane. Well, more like I got off and Bella stumbled.

"It's good to see you two," he said, smiling as he automatically caught and steadied my sister. " _You_ haven't changed much. How's Renée?"

"Mom's fine. It's good to see you, too, Dad." Bella replied tensely. We weren't allowed to call him Charlie to his face.

"I found a good car for you, Bells, really cheap," he announced when we were strapped in.

"What kind of car?" Bella seemed suspicious of the way he said "good car for you" as opposed to just "good car." I opted to sit out on this conversation, my hand automatically stroking through Noelle's fur.

"Well, it's a truck... actually, a Chevy."

"Where did you find it?"

"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?"

"No."

"Yes," I mumbled softly under my breath. When you're blind, you tend to remember details more.

"He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Charlie prompted.

"He's in a wheelchair now," Charlie continued after Bella's silence, "So he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap."

"What year is it?"

"Well, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine - it's only a few years old, really."

I knew that Charlie was lying. After all, he had stated " _really_ ", so he sounded quite embarrassed.

"When did he buy it?"

"He bought it in 1984, I think."

"Did he buy it new?"

"Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties - or late fifties at the earliest," he admitted sheepishly.

"Ch - Dad, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic..."

"Really, Bella, the thing runs great. They don't build them like that anymore."

"How cheap is cheap?" Of course, Bella would be the one to ask that, seeing as we didn't have an infinite amount of money.

"Well, honey, I kind of already bought it for you. As a homecoming gift."

"You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car."

"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here."

"That's really nice, Dad. Thanks. I really appreciate it."

"Well, now, you're welcome," he mumbled, sounding embarrassed by Bella's thanks.

Charlie and Bella exchanged a few more comments on the weather, which was wet, and that was pretty much it for conversation. We all turned to stare out the windows in silence.

Eventually, we made it to Charlie's. I think he still lives in the small, three-bedroom house that he'd bought with my mother in the early days of their marriage. Those were the only kind of days their marriage had - the early ones.

"Wow, Dad, I love it! Thanks!" Bella's voice surprised me. I had thought that she would hate the car, seeing as it was from the fifties.

"I'm glad you like it," Charlie said in a gruff voice.

It took only one trip to get all our stuff upstairs. I got the west bedroom that faced out over the front yard, and Bella got the one beside me. The room was familiar; it had belonged to me since I was born.

There was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I would have to share with Bella and Charlie. I was trying not to dwell too much on that fact. I didn't like the idea of sharing a bathroom with a male.

Charlie helped me unpack and get settled. He gave me a basic rundown of the room, then the house. Where the bed, desk, dresser, door, stairs and practically everything else was. It was nice to have some help. He had even gotten a small blue dog-bed for Noelle.

Forks High School had a frightening total of only three hundred and fifty-seven - now fifty-nine - students; there were more than seven hundred people in my junior class alone back home. We would be the new girls from the big city. Maybe, if Bella looked like a girl from Phoenix should, and I didn't need Noelle, we could work this to our advantage. But physically, Bella'd never fit in anywhere. We should be tan, sporty, and blond - a volleyball player, or a cheerleader, perhaps - all the things that go with living in the valley of the sun.

Certainly not blind.

Instead, _I_ was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine. Renée had kept me inside, for the most part.

When Charlie and I finished putting my clothes in the pine dresser and laying out my dress for tomorrow (it's a bit cold for it, but I was vain about my appearance), I took my bag of bathroom necessities and went to the communal bathroom to clean myself up after the day of travel. I frowned as I brushed through my mocha brown hair. I may have forgotten to mention my appearance. Grey eyes, hourglass-shaped body and ivory skin.

Dropping the brush back on the table, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself. If I couldn't find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here?

I didn't sleep well that night. The constant whooshing of the rain and wind across the roof wouldn't fade into the background, and Noelle was whining because of it too. I pulled the quilt over my head and later added the pillow, too. But I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight when the rain finally settled into a quieter drizzle.

Breakfast with Charlie was a quiet event. He wished us good luck at school. Bella thanked him for me. Charlie left first, off to the police station that was his wife and family. After he left, I walked around the old square oak table and felt around his small kitchen. According to my memory, nothing was changed. Renée had painted the cabinets eighteen years ago in an attempt to 'bring some sunshine into the house'.

I didn't want to be too early to school, but I couldn't stay in the house anymore. I donned my jacket over the dress and headed out into the rain.

It was misty, that type of fog that feels depressing, I noted as Bella reached for the house key that was always hidden under the eaves by the door, and locked up. The sloshing of my boots was unnerving.

Inside the truck, it was nice and dry. Either Billy or Charlie had obviously cleaned it up, but the seats still smelled faintly of tobacco, gasoline, and peppermint. The engine started quickly but loudly, startling me, roaring to life and then idling at top volume.

Bella parked in front of the first building, which, according to her, had a small sign over the door reading front office. No one else was parked there, so she was sure it was off limits, but we decided we would get directions inside instead of circling around in the rain like an idiot. I stepped out of the toasty truck cab.

"Noelle, office," I called out, following her footsteps and walking down a little stone path. I took a deep breath before opening the door. Inside, it was warmer than I'd hoped. The office felt small.

"Can I help you?" That was a woman.

"I'm Isabella Swan, and this is Maevelyn," My sister informed her.

"Of course," she said. She dug through what sounded like a pile of paper on her desk until she found the ones she was looking for. "I have your schedule right here, and a map of the school." She brought several sheets to the counter to show us.

She went through my classes for me, highlighting the best route to each on the map, and gave me a slip to have each teacher sign, which I was to bring back at the end of the day until she realized I was blind and stopped abruptly.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" She smiled at me and hoped that I would like it here in Forks. I collected my Braille books and left behind Bella.

I kept my face pulled back into my hood as I walked to the sidewalk, crowded with teenagers. My plain black jacket didn't stand out, I noticed with relief. It was long enough to cover my dress, though most people saw Noelle.

Once Bella and I got around the cafeteria, building three was easy for her to spot. A large black "3" was painted on a white square on the east corner.

Bella gave me the rundown of the classroom. The classroom was small, with a long row of hooks on the western side. I hung up my coat.

"Noelle!" I called, following her up to the teacher to hand him the slip. He made a noise of surprise at me when he saw my name - not an encouraging response. But at least he sent me to an empty desk at the back without introducing me to the class. It was harder for my new classmates to stare at me in the back, but I could still feel their stares. I kept my head forward, my fingers running across the reading list the teacher had given me. It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I'd already 'read' everything. That was comforting. The school had really gone out on accommodating me...

When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound that hurt my ears, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to talk to me.

"You're Maevelyn Swan, aren't you?" He asked.

"Mae," I corrected. Everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me and Noelle.

"Where's your next class?" he asked.

I had to check the sheet. "Um, Government, with Jefferson, in building six."

"I'm headed toward building four, I could show you the way… I'm Eric," he added.

I smiled a bit. "Thanks."

We got our jackets and headed out into the mist.

"So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?" he asked.

"Very."

"It doesn't rain much there, does it?"

"Three or four times a year."

"Wow, what must that be like?" he wondered.

"It feels sunny," I told him.

"You don't look very tan."

"My mother keeps me inside all the time."

We walked back around the cafeteria, to the south buildings by the gym. Eric walked me right to the door.

"Well, good luck," he said as I touched the handle. "Maybe we'll have some other classes together." He sounded hopeful.

I smiled vaguely and went inside.

The rest of the morning passed in about the same fashion. My Trigonometry teacher, Mr. Varner, was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. I liked Trigonometry and Calculus though, despite the teacher.

One girl sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch. I couldn't remember her name, so I smiled and nodded as she prattled about teachers and classes. I didn't try to keep up.

I met up with Bella, and we sat at the end of a full table with several of the girl's friends, who she introduced to me. I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them.

"Who are they?" Bella asked the girl from my Spanish class, whose name I'd forgotten _again_.

As she looked up to see who Bella meant - though already knowing, probably, from her tone - until, suddenly, I felt a pair of eyes on me.

The girl giggled in embarrassment.

"That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." She said this under her breath.

Strange, unpopular names, I thought. The kinds of names grandparents had. But maybe that was in vogue here - small town names? I finally remembered that my neighbour was called Jessica, a perfectly common name. There were two girls named Jessica in my History class back home.

"They are... very nice-looking." Bella struggled with the conspicuous understatement. I laughed internally.

"Yes!" Jessica agreed with another giggle. "They're all together though - Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together." Her voice held all the shock and condemnation of the small town, I thought critically. But, if I was being honest, I had to admit that even in Phoenix, it would cause gossip.

"Which ones are the Cullens?" Bella asked. "They don't look related..."

"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. The Hales are brother and sister, twins - the blondes - and they're foster children."

"They look a little old for foster children."

"They are now, Jasper and Rosalie are both eighteen, but they've been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. She's their aunt or something like that."

"That's really kind of nice - for them to take care of all those kids like that when they're so young and everything."

"I guess so," Jessica admitted reluctantly, and I got the impression that she didn't like the doctor and his wife for some reason. "I think that Mrs. Cullen can't have any kids, though," she added as if that lessened their kindness.

"Have they always lived in Forks?" Bella asked.

"No," she said in a voice that implied it should be obvious, even to a new arrival like her. "They just moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska."

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" Bella asked.

"That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently, none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." She sniffed, a clear case of sour grapes. I wondered when he'd turned her down.

I bit my lip to hide my smile.

"Edward was staring at you, you know," Bella told me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Maybe he was curious?" I replied, shrugging.

One of my new acquaintances, who considerately reminded me that her name was Angela, had Biology II with me the next hour. We walked to class together in silence.

When we entered the classroom, Angela went to sit at a desk or some sort.

"Noelle, can you get an empty seat?" I whispered, following her to a table.

As I walked down the aisle to introduce myself to the teacher and get my slip signed, I felt it again. Just as I passed, I felt the eyes on me, but this time much more furious. I assumed that Edward was watching me again.

Mr. Banner signed my slip and handed me a book with no nonsense about introductions. I could tell we were going to get along. I kept my eyes forward as I went to sit by Edward.

The lecture was on cellular anatomy, something I'd already studied. I took Braille notes carefully anyway, still looking forward.

The bell rang loudly, making me jump, and I heard Edward Cullen get out of his seat and he was out the door before anyone else was out of their seat.

"Aren't you Maevelyn Swan?" a male voice asked.

"Mae," I corrected him, with a smile.

"I'm Mike."

"Hi, Mike."

"Do you need any help finding your next class?"

"I'm headed to the gym, actually. I think I can find it."

"That's my next class, too." He seemed thrilled, though it wasn't that big of a coincidence in a school this small.

We walked to class together; he was a chatterer - he supplied most of the conversation, which made it easy for me. He'd lived in California till he was ten, so he knew how I felt about the sun. It turned out he was in my English class also. He was the nicest person I'd met today.

But as we were entering the gym, he asked, "So, did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what? I've never seen him act like that."

"Was that the boy I sat next to in Biology?" I asked, pretending cluelessness.

"Yes," he said. "He looked like he was in pain or something."

"I don't know," I responded. "I can't see him."

"He's a weird guy. He was like, cringing away from you." Mike lingered by me instead of heading to the dressing room. "If I were lucky enough to sit by you, I would have talked to you."

I smiled before walking through the girls' locker room door. He was friendly and clearly admiring.

One good thing happened though. The Gym teacher, Coach Clapp, told me that I was excused from Gym classes.

The final bell rang at last. I walked slowly to the office to return my paperwork. The mist had drifted away, but the wind was strong and colder. I wrapped my arms around myself and Noelle nuzzled my legs.

I went to the desk and handed her the signed slip.

"How did your first day go, dear?" the receptionist asked maternally.

"Fine," I lied.

When Bella and I got to the truck, it was almost the last car in the lot. It seemed a relief, not to feel the eyes on me for once. We drove back home, me asking about what places and people had looked like.


End file.
